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Burroughs paperbacks to prepare for the part.

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First we went up to Harlem, then we went down to Tompkins Square Park and got a set of works. They thrive on the action. Dillon displayed an easy, self-deprecating laugh. He shrugged. How many of these guys are going to see my movies?

Matt Dillon can laugh about it now. No one was talking that way about Dillon last year.

He has a gentle side--and a real knack for comedy--that I thought would be perfect for the role. At 25, the native New Yorker is still boyishly handsome enough to attract soulful stares from female admirers. After he ordered a beer at the cafe, he bummed a cigarette from a woman sitting nearby.

Bright and inquisitive, alternately shy and fidgety, Dillon has dark eyes, sharp cheekbones and a wry sense of humor. At the time, Dillon, who had never acted before, was more interested in Little League, where he played against B. Surhoff, now a star for the Milwaukee Brewers.

My dad used to kid me--'Hey, you held him to a double! Pressed about the ups and downs of his movie career, Dillon, whose brother, Kevin, also is an actor, was philosophical.

If they see you play one type, they always try to cast you in that type. You know, a guy who wears a suit, has a job.

I mean, the last three characters I played were a gambler, a drifter and a dope fiend. He admits that he got caught up in the role. I had a bad attitude.

I started obsessing, thinking about drugs and superstitions. I was driving myself crazy.

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Dillon laughed. Drive myself completely crazy. Still, he found his entire personality altered as the movie progressed. Van Sant ultimately cut the scene, saying it looked unrealistic. His longtime manager, Vic Ramos, thinks so. But now people are talking about him. Drugs are a controversial issue. No way.

Dillon admits that he experimented with drugs as a youth. I drank beer. I smoked pot, maybe popped a few uppers and downers. But I never got caught up in that other stuff--hard stuff like heroin. Dillon still broods about another friend, Danny, who overdosed after trying to clean himself up. He went pretty crazy. He ended up robbing pushers in shooting galleries in Harlem with a sawed-off shotgun.

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Dillon fell silent, sifting through painful memories. I gotta g-g-g-get some more speed. Later that night when his brother got back, he found him behind the sofa.

Dillon spoke softly. His whole side had gone blue.

What a waste. He takes a deep drag on another cigarette. Dillon is old enough now to laugh at his insecurities.

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